Many people have been in the sad situation of seeing their beloved companion animals getting older and older, with severe mobility problems, cancer, blindness, kidney or liver failure, or other conditions. How best to respond to such conditions, however, is a difficult and deep question. If you are in such a demanding situation right now, perhaps the question is in your mind, "How bad should things be before considering helping my pet to cross over?"
This page is here to help you in reaching the decision which is right - both for you and for your companion animal. There is no "one size fits all" solution. Each situation is unique, difficult and agonising. We feel for you if you are facing any of these awful questions:
Should I take my pet to the vet for the final journey, or should I wait?
At what stage does pain and suffering become so terrible that I should help my companion animal cross over?
Or perhaps should I let nature take its course and not intervene at all?"
These are tragic questions. The discussion below is designed to give you some pointers, although ultimately the decision depends upon:
your own instincts, feelings and beliefs;
any "vibes" which you can discern from your companion animal;
the medical prognosis provided by your vet (How much suffering is involved currently? How much is predicted later, and when?)
Even these pointers are not always easy to decide, sadly, but they do have to be faced. You, as human caretaker, ultimately have to resolve the inevitable emotional clashes of "I can't face saying goodbye to my beloved companion", or "I'm not ready for such a difficult decision yet" against "I can't sit by and let my pet suffer" or "My companion is in severe pain and it isn't going away." So let's get started on looking at the principles:
Those who regard all life as sacred, animals included, tend to struggle with this question even before getting into the deeper questions about medical prognosis and levels of pain. You may have seen your beloved companion develop a unique, distinct personality over the years and you may now be wondering whether the decision is not really yours to take. In that case, I would refer you to the Eckhart Tolle video link below. Try to connect with your animal at an emotional, psychological and spiritual level - i.e. do your best to "read" their thoughts and feelings by connecting as best you can. Meditation, or simply putting your body as close as you can to your companion, may help you make some sort of connection. Above all, do your best to put your own thoughts and emotions out of the way whilst "connecting" with your companion. Your own thoughts, such as "I'm not ready to do it", "I can't bear to see my beloved animal suffer", etc. should be avoided - at least at the moment when you are trying to connect and sense your companion's feelings. Remember: empathy, not sympathy! Do you sense that your pet is not ready to leave yet, or that s/he has reached the end of the road in terms of pain and suffering and cannot tolerate any more? That will give you a sound starting point, but now you must move on to the next stage...
Then it is a delicate balancing act, weighing up the pros and cons. Some things to consider include:
Does your companion animal still enjoy some things, e.g. favourite foods? Or going for a walk? Or doing some activity with you (even sitting on your lap)? Does s/he still show enthusiasm for something? Even if the pain and suffering is noticeable, is it bearable at the moment (albeit with painkillers)? If the answers are still "yes", then these are definitely positives.
On the other hand, if your pet no longer wants to eat, no longer wants to do favourite activities, shows no enthusiam for anything, looks exhausted and severely depressed, and/or is clearly in severe pain which appears unbearable, then these point in the direction that you may have to help your companion cross over.
However, if you feel lost or in a quandary, do not hesitate to reach out to others, if that is what you need. There are some good advice videos and web pages on the internet. A few links are at the end of this paragraph. Also, if you wish, there is a contact button at the bottom of this page - and indeed every page of this website. We will do our utmost to support you at a very difficult moment in your lives.
A few useful links:
Video: Is Euthanizing My Pet the Compassionate Choice?| Back to home page | Animals' souls: a rationale | Our personal experience | Views of world religions |
| What happens after "death"? | Experiences of others | Rainbow Bridge | Contact us: Click here! |